It was early in the morning. I was on my way to get my morning coffee. In hindsight, probably a little irritable. As I prepared to exit the parking lot of my apartment complex, I saw that another car had overshot the parking entrance and was trying to pull in. He was literally right in front of me. For a moment we just stared at each other with increasing intensity as the seconds slowed. When I saw that he couldn’t back up due to traffic, I eased back a bit to let him in. As I slowly reversed, he jerked his car forward, still not having enough space to clear my car. The stares are now almost like death threats as I ease my car back a few more feet. He darted forward again, this time having the space to clear my car, and that’s when I made one of the poorer decisions I’ve made in a while. I rolled my window down and yelled “Stop driving like a ____!” (Insert any derogatory term here, similar impacts). As I pulled out of the complex onto the street I quickly merged into the left lane because I needed to make a U turn to get to my destination. As I’m waiting for the light, I see the car that I just had the incident with blazing down the side of the street, in the bike lane, driving like somebody who just had their kid abducted or saw signs of the rapture. The driver appeared to see me and hastily tried maneuvering lanes, albeit unsuccessfully. My thought was that he was going to do something rash – jump the curb, run a light, etc., so after I made my U turn I pulled over and waited. What I was waiting for, however, was much different than the feelings I had to pummel the guy just moments earlier. I was going to try and give the guy a hug. Seriously. Or at least try, and more importantly apologize for my inability to control my impulses. The shift in emotions came almost instantly, and was based on several factors.
Firstly, the young man was driving what appeared to be an old Geo Metro. The back driver’s side window had a plastic bag over it, so it’s probably safe to assume that there was no window. The driver was also wearing an orange neon vest, like he possibly just got off of work. Seconds after the incident happened all of the aforementioned instantly came to the forefront of my mind, and by the time I’d entered the turning lane to make the U turn, I knew that I’d messed up. It’s easy to respond in the heat of the moment – much more difficult to restrain impulses and put thought before actions. All I could think about was what could be going on in this guy’s life. Did he just lose his job? His kids? Is he able to pay rent this month? Is he able to eat? I thought about those things, primarily because they’re things that, based on my own current situation, I don’t often have to think about. Not that I’m balling, by any means, but I’m able to make ends meet.
The feeling that quickly rose above my anger was humility. Maybe it comes with age. My thought process was - if I can be more humble and appreciative of the things that I have been blessed with, it makes it easier to understand the plight of others who want nothing more than the same thing. It’s not that I was afraid of the guy, I was actually more afraid of myself and the person I had become in that moment. I’d failed myself, and in doing so, attempted to bring someone else down with me. Doesn’t matter whose fault it was. It’s not about the action, it’s about the reaction. What would’ve happened if I would’ve avoided the direct death stare and simply backed up affording him room to pull into the parking lot? Maybe even smiled, or said something kind like “It’s all good. Hope you have a good day!” It would’ve been hard at the moment, but I would’ve avoided all of the negative energy, and even more importantly, possibly even brightened someone’s day - and my own too for that matter. The moral of the story is sometimes we need to slow down. Especially in our minds. When we do, we evolve into better people and in doing so, lift others up as well. And that is what it’s all about.
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